Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It was confusing and full of hummus
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
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