I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
