Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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