'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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