The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Randomize
