you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
