I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
