if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
