he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
