your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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