WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
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