I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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