You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
