i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
