Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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