they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
