You're my little dorito
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
