We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
