I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
