That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
sex in a hospital.. check
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
