Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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