Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Randomize
