Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
