O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
