He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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