Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Operation Purity has been aborted
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
