How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
