i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
