are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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