oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Dear god my vagina.
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