smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
