Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
