you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
