Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
