waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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