i will never coherently bang her
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
