I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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