More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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