She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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