I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
