That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
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