I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
