saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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