the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
