If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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