omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
Randomize
