Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
my vag is so smooth its legendary
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
