he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I wish you could order shots online.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Randomize
