first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
