Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
