So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Come see our sink grown plant.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize
