Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(916): View more from California

I'm really into asian looking animals

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.

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(206): View more from Washington

That's when you crack a 10am beer

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(860): View more from Connecticut

Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica

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(204): View more from Manitoba

Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again

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(816): View more from Missouri

I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.

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(240): View more from Maryland

Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?

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(519): View more from Ontario

I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.

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