We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
