Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
