He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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