Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
